i remember this...

Yeah. Sitting around watching old tv shows on the compy. Having nothing to do. Playing guitar until my fingers can't take it anymore. Yep. The single life sucks. i'd advise against it. Unless of course, the taken life is worse. Which i suppose it can be. Maybe it comes down to what God wants for you. Perhaps He wants to teach you your value outside of a relationship. Not to take your worth from who you're with. It can be a total blessing to be with someone, don't get me wrong. But sometimes it takes you places God doesn't want you. That's when the hard decisions come in. i've found it often comes down to righteousness vs. feelings. Man, is that a hard choice. And the benefits of righteousness are often harder to see than the fun that comes from putting yourself first. i've found that the Lord has blessed me with lots and lots of time to talk with Him. i had no time before, entirely by my own doing, but still. i am glad to have a spare moment to dedicate to Him. i was pondering this the other day, i don't remember who was talking about this, it could have been anyone, but they were saying something about how sacrifices were in the Old Testament. It used to be that you would give the first and best you had to the Lord. And now i dedicate my first and best time to who? Myself. Of course. Well, why wouldn't i? What fun is it to get up early and spend time with the Lord? Wouldn't sleep feel so much better? Am i even coherent in the morning? Doubtful. Doesn't that mean i'ma hafta give up some of my night? Crap, what fun is that? i already have no life. Why do i even desire a life outside the Lord? He is all i will ever need, yet i struggle to pursue the things He has not yet blessed me with. Is it an American thing, to strain forever after what i do not have? Or is that human? i really really want to restore/modify my car this winter. Do i have the time? Sure. Do i have the plans? Of course. Do i have the money? Hah. Right. Why do i even keep that car around? It wastes all my spare time and money. Of course, i enjoy working on it and spending money on it. It's very relaxing when things go right. Who knows.

Today, in my Intro to HVAC Controls class, i was rereading the latest Car Craft and trying not to fall asleep when i put my head down. Couldn't get her off my mind. Then it suddenly struck me how i could better use this time. What better way to stay distracted from the boring class i could already almost teach than my conversing with my Lord? i figure you can't pray too much, can you? It even put me in such a good mood, when i was bored out of my freakin mind a few minutes before. What a brilliant idea! Not pay attention to boring electricity review, and get some quality conversations in. Granted, they were kinda one-sided, but i can solve that with a stratigically placed Bible. And wow, i don't think i could have picked a better song for iTunes to shuffle to right this moment:

I wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land

And all I see
It could never make me happy
And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough

"Let That Be Enough", Switchfoot

i can't top that. Long story short: i miss her. Here's some pictures from my photo assignment to look at.









posted by dave @ 8:58 PM