Is it bad that I just don't care anymore?

That I don't really care about anything? I got good grades. Cool. Destroyed my car. Ehhh, didn't like it anyway. Broke my 150$ headphones. Ehhh, they were made of cheap plastic.

One positive aspect of this extreme case of apathy is that the lies that Satan uses to try and upset me really don't work anymore. It kinda becomes "So what if that's true? I don't care." Yeah. Can apathy be a good thing? Probably not. Especially in my hands. What if I do care about a few important things? And I'm not the one who's deciding they're important? See, all this thinkin came from someplace. I was thinkin about what would have happened had I been driving my other car on Friday. So you're thinking "Ok, so what, you'd have smashed up your nicer car." Not just that. It's got no shoulder belts. I sat down in the seat and kinda measured it out. Had that happened in that car, I'da put either my jaw or my neck right into that hard plastic/steel steering wheel. And those big bumps on my knee? Howbout a broken knee on the metal dash? Yeah. I was sittin there in H20 tonight while Grant was speaking, complaining to myself about how my nice deep seatbelt bruise and bumped up knee ached. Then I was kinda [unjustly] ticked off cause nobody knew what happened even tho I laid it all out here that day. Ok, so it's only been like 2 days, so nobody's read it yet. That's onea those Satan lies that tries to trick me into thinking that nobody cares about anything I have to say. Kinda like when you go to youth group and everyone's all like "Hey, haven't seen you in awhile!" even though you've been to the last couplea months of meetings and saw those people there. [totally not pointing fingers, just giving an example[really the devil's just using you people to drag me down! gosh!][haha, not really, I do a good enough job on my own]] Yeah. I've found that if you try to just stop caring what people think, it helps. I think this is one place where apathy might be a good thing. It's much easier said than done tho. I don't think this means I'm totally devoid of feeling yet tho. [although it's not far off] It seems that experience tends to numb you from reality. It's kinda nice like that. Screw enough stuff up, and it doesn't hurt that much anymore. This would be good except for the part where I'm sposta be responsible for what I do and stuff. But when it comes to the ignoring of Satan's attacks? Works right good.

Why all the deep thoughts and the sudden frequency of posts? Well, one, because I'm tired, but mostly cause somebody just started a load of jeans in the dryer, so I can't sleep just yet. clink clank clank clink...

posted by dave @ 10:06 PM