stupid crap that's not worth your time.

Man, sister bothers me. Her and the little brother. For those of you not familiar with my family, I have two little sisters, Susan and Katherine [Susan being the one more commonly known as just "sister"] and a little brother Thomas that scares Dan. But back to my stories. We are tearing out our carpet this week in preparation for new carpet. It sucks. A huge mess with way too much dust. But anyway, today was the day for me and my brother to clean up our room and take out ours. Long story short, he wouldn't help and I didn't get finished before DG. Sister was/is/always will be mad at me for some reason or another. It's not fun. Long rides to and from school get way too quiet cause of the lack of stereo. It's so awkward. But enough about my family. If I don't watch out, the wrong person's might read this and get mad/madder at me. On to dumber things.

You know how people do stupid things to make girls [or guys, whichever might be the case] "like" them? I am now realizing how truly stupid that kinda crap is. If that person does end up liking you, are they really liking you, or how you act around them cause you like them. If it's the second one, then they don't really like you now do they? You're not gonna be able to keep up the silly crap if you do end up in a relationship. I think integrity is the most important thing. If we're 2 different people [or more in some [my] cases] then what's the point? I'm wondering why I like a girl. It seems to me that it's all about me. I need her cause I need this I need that, etc. I'm pretty sure [even tho I'm very inexperienced in this field] that relationships are the kinda things that aren't about what you need but they're about something else. I'm not entirely sure what that something else might be, but it's not me. It makes me think, like how could a relationship be glorifying to God? What are they really for? I don't know. I haven't figured it out yet. If it's all about that other person, then thats really hard to do. Cause how do you figure out what they need or if they need anything that you can provide? It's hard to figure out this kinda stuff. If I truly want to enter into a relationship that is 100% not about me, then how do I start? Go up to her and be like "I wanna serve you in any way I possibly can."? Is that what it's about? Hey, those of you experienced in this, speak up! I wanna know. How does this work? Is it possible to do this with the right motives? Are there right motives? Is there any real reason to be in a relationship in high school? You can't get married, but you can get to know the person really well and maybe serve them in the process. Is that what they're for? I'm not lookin for a worldly view on this, cause that's simple. All I gotta do there is follow my instincts and manipulate her emotions to please myself and put myself first in every decision. Should we be totally opposite of the world? Basically thinking of them before yourself every time? I don't know! I'm beyond lost. Girls make my try to think too much. Can't they just be simpler and not assume I know anything, cause I really don't? Is this what I'm doing wrong? Not serving? I'm beginning to think that lonely as it tends to be, singleness has some definate advantages over having to think and work for other people and hafta serve them and stuff. Who'd wanna do that? I wouldn't get anything out of it! Man, what the crap am I talking about? I can't talk about this stuff! I have no credibility in the subject! Maybe that's why I ask more questions than I answer.



dave's car of the post: was a dumb idea. I quit. I gotta find somethin better to do with my time.

posted by dave @ 10:16 PM