Apathy is...bliss?

I dunno...could be argued either way...who cares? uh...maybe I should start caring about stuff. I learned today that thanks to my apathetic outlook towards school, I now have earned D's in english and math. But honestly, how often am I gonna factor stuff, do long division, or discuss romantic period satire as a mechanic? Really, this stuff is utterly useless. You could argue that it's teaching me to learn. I'd just tell you that I already know how to learn, I just don't want to. Or I hate math. And english. Stupid school. It hardly seems worth staying in. I could just go get my GED and go to COD. Who would care? It's then that I realize that I'm sposta be doin everything as if were doing it for God, not men. Does God care about romantic period satire, or utterly useless math? I suppose so. Or maybe He cares about my attitude. I wish He didn't, cause it sucks right about now.

Is the world coming to an end? Well, I dunno, I'll hafta read up on the subject. It seems like everywhere we look, there's death and/or destruction. I'm gettin pretty tired of it. Widespread sorrow is never a good thing. Neither is death for that matter. Life is gettin too scary. I used to be safe in my little bubble playing with my Tonka trucks in the sandbox in the backyard. What happened to those days? Nothing bad happened in the world back then. I had this cool tractor model that my grandpa gave me. He had the same thing, but the real-life version that I'd always play on when I was at his house. It was cool. Then he died and they sold it. Now life is scary. I gotta find that tractor. Maybe innocence is bliss.

I can hear innocence. You can too. All you gotta do is close your eyes and listen to Learning to Breathe by Switchfoot. Not so much the words as much as the music and melody. I see images in my head of myself as a little kid popping out of bed early on a summer morning and running outside before breakfast to the sandbox and starting the day's construction. Then come images of treeforts and banana seat bicycles with playing cards in the spokes and little license plates hanging beneath the seats. I see myself conquering the big hill by the fire station on my bike without using my feet. I see riding through puddles as fast as I can then slamming on the brakes and leaving skinny black skidmarks all over the path. I see my lemonade stand, with all the neighborhood kids standing around. I see our rainy day forts made of couch cushions and all the blankets we could find in the family room. I see me sleeping in the fort at night and getting scared and running up into my mom and dad's bed. I see innocence. [as innocent as any little boy could be I guess]

Wow, I feel old.

posted by dave @ 9:30 PM